This blog has been created to record a personal journey.
Today completes week three of a focused effort to train for a natural body building competition in May of 2009. I am not on this journey alone. I am training under the guidance of a benevolent, and kick-ass personal trainer, Tina, who won many titles in the these competitions several years ago.
I am 43 years old and an unlikely candidate for a body building competition. Until recently I have not been a fit individual. I have carried an extra 30 plus pounds for most of my adult life. I have a background of working out without a goal and of eating based on my cravings. Needless to say, I've never seen much change in myself physically, and actually believed I was one of those individuals whose body was hopeless--immune to exercise and diet. In truth, I working out half-heartedly and blaming genetics.
Compounding my self-image, is a history of spending useless energy wishing for things I don't believe I can ever actually have--of placing desires high enough on a mental shelf that I can gaze at them, but never have them. Turning forty can have an energizing effect on a gal. I found myself sick and tired of that shelf being out of my arms' reach.
At age 41, I learned how to weight lift, regimented my runnning, started eating better, and shaved off about 25 pounds. Eventually I bought the little gym in which I workout.
Now I have decided it is time to raise the bar.
I have figured out that accomplishing any significant change in life requires three elements: a clearly defined goal with deadlines, a constant effort to keep out the negative thoughts, and a willingness to let others in to help you. The first requirement is significantly easier than the second two.
For the last three weeks I have stayed pretty quiet about what I am doing, telling only my mom, my husband, and a few very close friends. Then Thanksgiving came, and visiting family who questioned why I was eating with such care. I spilled the beans about my plans, and rather than ridicule, I got lots of encouragement. This blog is my coming out. If I make it, if I fail, I will do it with friends and family behind me.
This shift in my attitude has not lessened the grade of this hill I am climbing. It is Sunday morning and I am scheduled to work on abs and run 5 miles. I am feeling so very unmotivated. Usually I look forward to my run days. They are therapeutic and provide me with a sense of accomplishment. This morning though, it is after 8 AM, I am on my second cup of coffee (sans the half and half that used to make it delicious), and I have no intention of changing into workout clothes as of now. Let's hope that magic, prodding little fairy comes along and lifts me out of this comfortable chair soon.
